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Your Fake Olympic Updates: BELA KAROLYI CHALLENGES…

By Ryan • Aug 18th, 2008 • Category: The Big Secret

DATELINE: BEIJING, 8/17/08
BELA KAROLYI CHALLENGES GYMNASTICS JUDGES TO FISTFIGHT.


Bela Karolyi, pictured here in December of 2006 during happier times. Photo from AP photo and shot by Mark Stehle.

Incensed with current allegation of Chinese gymnastic cheating and soft scoring, all to the detriment of Team USA, former USA gymnastics coach and current NBC gymnastics commentator, Bela Karolyi, challenged the Olympic gymnastics judges to a fistfight.

“This is an outrage! They ruin gymnastics! This makes me angry!” Said Karolyi in short, stream of conscious outbursts after concluding his broadcast for NBC. Karolyi has been stewing all week about the controversy concerning the Chinese gymnastic team’s possible rule violation using underaged gymnasts. Then Sunday night he seemed to have went over the edge when Chinese gymnast Chun Fei failed to land her second vault attempt and still received a higher score than USA gymnast Alicia Sacramone, which ultimately bumped Sacramone out of medal contention.

“They bully! They pick on little girls! Let them pick on one their own size! I fight with fists!”

NBC’s Bob Costas witnessed Karolyi’s meltdown. “It was a state of frenzy unfelt by those who have never breathed the aroma of Olympus like Bela. When the mark of the champion is branded on the cow’s flank of gold medal immortality, forged by Vulcan and heated by the Olympic flame, there is only a matter of time before the spectre of failure and broken hopes creeps into your rearview mirror of Olympic dreams. When that happens, it’s quite ugly.” Said Costas, we can only assume about Bela’s breakdown.

“Bela is strong! Like ox of a man! He will fight for gymnastics! He will fight for pride of sport! These judges know not what they have done.” Said Marta Karolyi, now head coach of Team USA gymnastics and Bela’s wife.

No word on whether or not the gymnastics judges have accepted his challenge.

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